Feeling Discouraged

Months have passed since my little farm fire was lit {and it’s been brewing inside for over 10 years} and I still haven’t seen any change. I have chickens! Which is great, but maybe because they’re so tiny and useless {no offense ladies, but you’re not providing much more then entertainment yet} it’s not feeling like much change. I haven’t started my garden beds yet as I need soil, and my seeds aren’t doing so hot. It still feels like I’m a city girl living in a very urban backyard. 

I still desire so badly to be free. To have a place to rest my head at night, wether that’s an adorable farm house, a shabby old house, a tent, a yurt, a cabin, a trailer, whatever the building is just a place to sleep and cook. I want land, to explore, to grow, to create, to live. I want the option of being completely alone in nature, no peering neighbors, no loud buses driving by. 

Every day I wait for the perfect land to come on the market and every day I find myself disappointed that it still has yet to come. I know this dream may take years to come into effect, but it’s so hard when you see others living the life you want and yet it feels like it’s so far out of reach. 

How are people successfully picking up and starting off fresh and making it? What am I missing? We’re are they getting all this money?! How do I find it?  

Oh well. I mustn’t let this bad mood bring me down. All I can do is continue to make the best of my current home. My family is here, my love, I have excellent comfy living conditions. I have chicks growing to become successful egg layers! And garden boxes waiting to be filled to provide us with lots of fresh produce. I must keep my hands busy and make the most. 

I want to grow some flowers that attract bees, I want to help pollenate the vegetables and also help the bee population, so I’m hoping to make a mason bee house! Maybe that will keep me busy for a while!

Anyways! Sorry for being a Debby downer! No one likes one of those. But this whole blog was for our family to see our story. And it can be hard to get to where your dreams are. And so I need to document these hard feelings. 

Come on spring! Keep everything blooming! 

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4 thoughts on “Feeling Discouraged

  1. You don’t need soil, you need to look at your property differently. Where can you get “soil” without getting soil? Can you build a compost pile? Can you rake your leaf debris (or your neighbors) into a spot to break down? Can you mow your grass and weeds into a nice green nitrogen-rich mulch to improve your existing dirt? Your chicks are probably doing their best to help produce their own stinky layer of biomass. If you want fast-reward chickens to really add to the biomass consider getting meat chickens or meat rabbits.
    Can you get some free chopped leaves, dirty straw bales and wood shavings/sawdust and start composting your own waste and urine? Can you start a greywater recycling system? Can you buy fruits and vegetables and meats on the cheap from the grocery and start canning? There’s lots of options! Good luck!

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    1. It’s funny you mention composting! It’s something I’m working on right now and right after I wrote this post I tended to my compost! I do need to get soil for this years garden however as I have 3 brand new raised boxes I made and I need to fill them with soil. The soil is fairly inexpensive it’s just getting it to the house that is my trouble.

      There is stuff I’m working on doing here before we have our farm. I’ve not thought of canning things from the store though! That one is new!!

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  2. The key is to start where you are. I have a friend that wanted nothing else than to move off grid to a country home. He was living just off of a 4 lane highway. When the reality of his financial situation hit him he came up with a different plan. He has now turned his yard into mostly garden space and he constructed a greenhouse. He has solar panels and has updated his house to be more energy efficient. These changes have lead to him being content where he is. Good luck!

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    1. I love this and this is what we’re trying to do. I think what makes it hard for me though is our backyard. It’s exposed on 2 sides as we live on a corner, so it’s not private one bit and people are always talking to me. Somedays I hate it. Some days I enjoy it. It would be nice to have privacy though! But yes. Working with what we have and living the way we want while we’re here is our goal!

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